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They had hit it off immediately when they first met. So the notion that he wanted to see and date other girls, couldn’t be true, she thought. But there he stood before her, with this silly, stupid looking expression on his face. All those little comments he recently started making about guys and girls should be free to date whoever they want, came into focus.Those off the wall opinions that Kendra now remembered those times when her boyfriend said these things. So after she gave him several minutes to offer up his feeble explanation as to why this was such a “Sure, you are free to see other women and date the ones you think you like.Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.I can see that no one has ever really seen you." For many narcissists, the pursuit is everything and once they have you hooked, they are either off to another pursuit, or they become more and more demanding of you. The person becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no. Narcissists need constant attention and often become very upset and punishing if you don't give them what they want. The person becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience.While this person may blame the other person for the problems, or claim that he or she has just never met the "right" person, it always takes two to create relationship problems. But, if someone does not care about their children, then they likely have a deep problem with caring about themselves or others. The person is not open to learning from relationship conflict.Unless this person has had a good amount of therapy and personal growth since the last relationship, a series of broken relationships or marriages may indicate that he or she doesn't know how to have a loving relationship. The person was abused as a child and has not had therapy or done sufficient inner healing work. Without an openness to learning about themselves and you when there is conflict, there is no way to resolve conflict. The person participates in addictions that are unacceptable to you -- smoking, drinking, drugs, addictive eating, gambling, TV and so on.
A man who is overly concerned with himself and his material things has no room to value you. Just because a man is good-looking, wears a shiny new suit, sports some Now and Later gators, drives a shiny new car, and profiles a new Rolex on his wrist does not mean he is a good man.He or she tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.This is another narcissistic trait: the belief that only his or her feelings and opinions are valid, and that differences pose a threat. The person talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn't ask much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself. This person is not interested in you or your feelings.As a matter of fact, that’s usually the joker who can’t rub two nickels together.What’s wrong with the guy in jeans and a T-shirt, driving a Camry, checking his Timex to see exactly when his check is going to hit the bank? Never allow yourself to be impressed by a man’s depreciating assets (cars, clothes, expensive rental apartment). If you’re going to be impressed with material things, at least be smart enough to start with his net worth.