2016 dating in russian men
: This post is brought to you by Kristina Ezhova, a 22-year-old Russian expat currently residing in Paris (previous locations: Montreal and Toronto). I actually hate vodka..” Once we are through with all the small talk around cultural stereotypes, I’m usually faced with the following question: “So, how are the guys in Russia? My mom, who raised my younger brother with this kind of discipline, recently observed as the poor kid carried an adult-size suitcase up the stairs, without as much as blinking an eye. People will talk, people will judge, your reputation of a “good girl” will be tarnished forever As a tragic consequence, you will never be able to marry the Moscow ‘dream guy’ (quick summary: he lives downtown, he drives an expensive car, he works in finance), because he will eventually put two and two together and you can kiss that blue Tiffany box goodbye. They work, they get married, they invite me for long park walks with their newborn kids in the summer.
Favorite things in life include: poutine (the food, not the president), War and Peace, pointless Facebook debates, Italian coffee. And then there’s me, going out on a Monday night and having breakdowns when I open my Visa statement at the end of each month.
There are clear gender definitions in Russia and if you are an independent soul, you might find them slightly offensive, though as most traditions they are just that – traditions.
It is what people are used to and therefore doesn’t necessary reflect on, or read any meaning into.
These guys know exactly what’s wrong with your car when it breaks down on the highway, they always carry your groceries up the stairs, and if, God forbid, one of them doesn’t hold a door for you, its “bye, Felicia”. They are like the Italian mothers, but, instead of loud yelling, they project their opinions on their faces, and trust me when I tell you that you want nothing to do with that. One of my friends recently complained to me that she no longer has vases to hold all the ‘stupid broomsticks’ (yes, this is how she refers to the bouquets that guys gift her in an effort to impress her). I don’t know a single girl in Moscow who would leave a bar with a guy she just met. This is why, whenever I tell my friends back home that I slept with one of my friends but we are definitely not in a relationship, they shake their heads and tell me to “think of my reputation”. That said, the whole “let’s go out, pick up a girl and bring her home” spiel doesn’t really work back there, unless you want your mom to make your one-night-stand pancakes in the morning. For some reason, Russians in their early twenties are so much more mature than anywhere else I’ve lived in the world.
All jokes aside, the bear/vodka/fur Macho Man formula has its roots somewhere. For some reason, Valentine’s Day in Moscow happens every other day. Part of the reason is cultural: Since nobody leaves to go to school in other cities and nobody can really afford to rent their own apartment in one of the most expensive cities in the world, it is completely acceptable to live with your parents throughout your university studies and even after graduation. Every day, I receive a text message from my mother informing me that yet another girl from my dance company has gotten engaged/married/pregnant/had her 5th child.
If you want to get it on, you have to get in a relationship.
Maybe it’s not for everybody, but the same can be said for Americans and the French…
Despite the fact that love does have a controlling power over our lives and decisions, this state of mind is not that easy to achieve; but those who do, can enjoy the beauty of sharing their live with a significant other.
So when researching this article I wasn’t overly surprised about the information I found from women who have dated Russian men.
I have tried to summarize some of their experiences and advice in this article.
Polina Durneva from Russia studying at Cornell College shares her views about how dating in the United States is different than back in her home country of Russia.
As part of our microscholarship program we asked current international students what their observations have been about dating in the United States and how it compares to dating back in their home countries.